February 2016…..It supposed to be the month of love but for me a month of heartache. My relationship with the guy I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with up and broke up with me just a few days before Valentine’s Day. Tragic right? No lie, I was hurt wondering why since we didn’t have problems that would lead to a breakup.
So I decided to do with girls do best after a breakup: try to get back into the dating scene and that was an epic fail. Why you may ask? After you’re used to be treated one way, you expect others to do the same, yeah I totally lied to myself.
After the 4th month of my breakup, I met another guy. He seemed like a great catch to potentially hangout with. I knew him through an organization that we’re both apart of just on different campuses. When I say, he was the wolf in sheep’s clothing…Chile. He started off the perfect gentleman and switched up in a blink of an eye.
Afterwards, I started questioning myself and God’s plan for me a lot. Why couldn’t I find the guy I was supposed to be with? Why do I keep getting my hopes up? Just too many questions that I shouldn’t been asking.
So I started trying to find myself again without being in a relationship. One ting I started back was reading as much as I could.
The first book was called the Chase by Kyle & Kelsey Kupecky. The book runs down how to patiently wait for the mate that God called you to be with. It follows their love story and other examples of other people lesson they learned when they didn’t wait on God. One story in particular caught my eye. After a hardbreaking relationship, the young woman took a year of dating to not just wait on God to bring her supposed mate but to learn about herself again.
The second decision came in the form of youtube. Not sure if anyone follows her but the youtuber name is Lauren Legato. She talked about taking a break from dating to strength her relationship with God before jumping into another relationship.
I felt inspired after this. Not because magically after the year to the T of not dating, God’s gonna place the man he made for me right in my lap. I want to be able to find myself again and know how it is to be single. I want to focus on my relationship with God and getting closer to him and get closer to my goals that I have planned out for myself.
So I decided to tell my friends and family about it and everyone was definitely not in agreeance. Even though I cherish their advice and will always love them, I had to make them see it from my point of view and why I was truly doing this journey. That I want to be able to stick with something and giving up something to strengthened my bond with God and I was going to do it.
Well it’s been about month and hell froze over. Guys left and right, ex’s, potential, guys I used to talk to all of sudden wants to hang out or catch up on old times. Thank you for discernment Lord! While I am friends with some of my ex’s, I still keep it cool but letting them gently down about certain things. Its hard because I see all my friends, facebook and Instagram family mostly all in relationship or dating and here’s me still trying to figure it all out.
I’m not saying, I’m not a professional at this but to be aware, you do need accountability partner. The accountability partner holds you to your goal or your promise and makes sure that you keep those goals and promises that you made.
If you do need accountability partner contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org….total free judgement zone and you just need someone in your corner at times.
Next off the bat, majority of your friends and family will not understand and not support you. Doesn’t mean that they don’t care or don’t love you, I promise you. Sometimes people think what’s best for them is what’s best for you. Your family is going to what you to date because they want to see you married and think you’ll be wasting time by taking yourself off the radar. Your friends are going to want you to date so it can be a group date or for the same reasons of your family.
To be real, its not a choice to place yourself on a year of no dating. I prayed about why wasn’t my dating life what I though it could be and I found myself being compelled to buy that book listed up and finding the youtuber talking about her journey. I feel that God place it on my heart to get close to him and find myself again and if you feel the same, keep up with this blog because I will be posting periodical updates about my journey to help and to encourage others.